Decision-Making Process

“So how did you two decide that you’re going to marry this year?”

“Well…let’s see…it’s something that we thought was right…uh…you somehow sense that this is the time…kinda hard to explain…”

A friend threw me the question one early evening and I was trying my best to give her a coherent answer. Obviously I was babbling. I stopped for a few seconds to compose my thoughts. Hmmm, I had not really thought about explaining it—how we decided to get married this year.

How do we make decisions? Or a related (and more important question) is how do we know God’s leading? Looking back at how God led me, I don’t remember an actual instance when there was thunder and lightning and I heard the voice of God speak. Nothing dramatic. What I experienced was the quiet nudging of the Spirit as He led me by circumstances along a particular path, and the assurance of God-given peace. That is how God reveals His will for me: step by step, situation by situation.

That’s how God “speaks” to me. We can’t put God in a box and expect Him to do the same thing He does to everyone. He speaks to us differently, and He moves and works in us differently.

So, how did we decide to get married this year? We’ve been together for 12 years now—9 years of those as a couple. We have adjusted to each other (as much as we can, but there are times when she looks at me as if I’m from another galaxy, haha!). Our jobs are stable. Our sisters and (her) brother have work and able to support our parents. We help out with each other’s church ministries. And we prayed about it. God did not say no. It’s just right to move on. So, checking our schedules, we decided to get married this year.

Part reason-part feeling. No flashing, sign from God. No Hollywood-romance stuff, no fancy lines—I fumbled through my prepared short speech. Just knowing that God has blessed our relationship, and that this year would be a good year to get married. And knowing ourselves better, knowing our work and responsibilities enough to make a wise decision.

I proposed to Ruth last December. All my plans went wrong: it was raining, we had a hard time getting a taxi, I could not think of a place/restaurant/coffee shop where it was quiet enough so I can propose to her. But everything worked out wonderfully well. Definitely God’s blessing.